Putting Vienna to the test

Residents of Central are up to their waists in publicity material for Vienna Lau, a dentist and the district’s most prominent yet-to-be-elected politician. Her banners hang from railings, alongside those of actual legislators and party-affiliated hopefuls. Posters adorn walls near building entrances. And now a Working Report appears in every mailbox…

Hyperactive or what? As well as taking part in the neighbourhood’s ongoing battles for or against trees, she is registering voters, complaining about garbage in various locations, and swooping to the rescue of old folk who find themselves slipping and sliding down steep wet streets…

And the list goes on. As well as attending to the inevitable canine issues, she has been finding extra garbage to complain about, distributing dumplings, and actually discovering a street that even those of us who have lived in the area for decades never realized existed…

She has also launched Central’s first overseas aid project, namely oral health promotion in an impoverished ‘hillside’ school in a remote panda bear-infested corner of the Mainland…

Indeed, she will get involved in things most of us would rather not even think about…

Eeewwww…

I have decided to test her. Back on June 12, I reported a shopfront hoarding obstructing the sidewalk – a greater threat to pedestrian safety than the most vicious tree – to the government’s TellMe@1823 hotline. This is run by the Efficiency Unit, and it goes without saying that nothing has happened since the last update on August 18. (The amazing thing is that this hoarding is still there; unused, the place is losing either a tenant or the landlord big bucks.)

I have now notified the fearless Dr Vienna. I gave her visions of children, the elderly and small furry animals suffering horrible mutilation from passing vehicles – and of my vote being up for grabs in an election someday. She can’t be any less responsive than the Efficiency Unit.