The fists of righteous harmony were in evidence at yesterday’s rally in support of Hong Kong’s Chief Executive CY Leung (not to be confused with tomorrow’s rally in support of him, nor with tomorrow’s one against him). A senior and burly gentleman whom I hereby name ‘Boxer Uncle’ thumped a reporter from Now TV on the head, which by the Big Lychee’s standards is about as serious as political violence gets.
Boxer Uncle would probably have been irate because, in his view, Now TV tends to lean towards the pro-democracy opposition camp. To the extent it in fact does so, it is because its owner is Richard Li. He is the son of super-billionaire Li Ka-shing. The boy Richard blames his pro-establishment father for the suicide of his mother, and mildly supporting the government’s opponents (he bought ad space in the Civic Party’s newspaper for a while) is his way of getting back at Dad. (There probably should be an ‘allegedly’ or two sprinkled around that.) To complicate things, Li senior’s businesses are pre-eminent in Hong Kong’s property cartel, whose members utterly despise CY Leung.
Confused? You will be. Yesterday’s gathering was organized by Caring Hong Kong Power. Tomorrow’s pro-CY march will be convened by something called the Voice of Loving Hong Kong. The anti-CY demo comes to you courtesy of the Civil Human Rights Front, while a semi-separate assembly in favour of the same cause comes under the banner of the League in Defence of Hong Kong’s Freedom. Some anti-pro-CY folk got together yesterday to irritate the Caring HK Power people by waving colonial flags; they are still thinking up a name – maybe the Caring Voice of Human Freedom or the Civil League of Loving Power.
Caring HK Power have previously mounted protests against right of abode for foreign maids and in favour of National Education. Judging by their past activities and the no-nonsense attitude of Boxer Uncle, they are a humourless, surly bunch who are essentially anti-democrats as much as pro-anything. The Voice of Loving HK has just been formed by one Patrick Ko Tat-pun, an obscure member of legislator Regina Ip’s New People’s Party. As the South China Morning Post puts it: ‘He also disclosed that he had joined a social club in Shenzhen several years ago without being aware it was affiliated with the Communist Party’s United Front Work Department’. With such a charming name (good for a karaoke place) and an amusingly accident-prone leader, they sound like a nicer set of people, but – as Ringo Starr said – tomorrow never knows.
While either or both groups may be funded by some sort of patriotic elements, it is unlikely that they are directly guided by Beijing’s officials in the local Liaison Office, which has never shown much apparent interest in organizing democrat-style street activities, but would do the job far less shambolically if it did. If yesterday’s assembly is anything to go by, the pro-CY demonstrators do more damage to the Chief Executive’s image than the pro-democrat opponents. Maybe the property cartel are behind them.
The virulently anti-Chinese Communist Party, mystical/wacko Falun Gong sect/cult will also be parading tomorrow. Maybe their presence will draw out the Hong Kong Youth Care Association, a very obvious United Front tool with whom FLG have been engaged in extensive banner wars in Tsimshatsui. Somebody else is demonstrating tomorrow as well, but I can’t remember who it is. The anti-sex brigade? Dog lovers? The Judean Popular People’s Front? So hard to keep track. It’ll be crowded out there.
In the midst of all this protest and discontent, the SCMP letters page suddenly spouts something from a parallel universe in the fifth dimension. Someone in distant Sai Kung complains that his phone company texted (I presume) him his monthly bill on the 25th of the month, as I bet they do every month. Such an intrusion of everyday reality and life appears to have shattered his Yuletide revelry, which we can only guess is spent at the escapist child-like wonder end of the Christmas Spirit scale. I know Sai Kung’s a bit out of the way, but the idea that a Hong Kong phone company would suspend its computer-generated bill-sending system for Christmas Day is amazingly touching.
Click to hear ‘Tomorrow Never Knows’ by the Beatles!
I declare this week’s midweek semi-weekend open.
Off topic, but It’s that time of year again:
2012 Urban Idiots award
The results are in, and we placed first again! Congratulations to all Honkers, we stand proud.
Winning categories:
1. Longest continuous use of a bank machine, repeatedly taking out card and putting it back in, while randomly stabbing at buttons: 1 hour.
2. Longest continuous and pointless blast on a car horn, while stuck in traffic: 30 seconds.
3. Needless runs to a lift, jamming into the closing doors and delaying 16 people, with another lift due in 15 seconds: Countless.
4. Loudest volume achieved on a subway car, while talking on a mobile phone: 100 Decibels.
5. Most items bought at Landmark Central, the most expensive retail facility in the world, where every luxury item costs 10,000 times its true value: 100
6. Most times wearing a surgical mask to prevent transmission of disease while driving in your own car, alone: 365
7. Most times standing side by side with your friend on an escalator, blocking everyone behind you who want to walk the steps: 100
8. New category this year, related to item 7: Most times standing still on an airport travelator, the sole purpose of which is to increase your walking speed, and blocking everyone behind you: 100
9. New category this year, related to item 8: Most useless overpriced duty free items crammed into overhead airplane bin, making all of those boarding behind you wait: 10
10: New category this year, related to item 9: Longest lineup at check in gate before boarding announcement. Hint: You made it, the plane won’t leave without you!: 300 idiots
11. Most payments of bills at a 7-11, a bank machine or the post office, taking 10 minutes, while not using internet banking, which has now been a secure and easy way to pay bills for 10 years: Countless
12. Most stabbings in other’s eyes with umbrella tip by one person in one day: 10.
Happy new year all!
Love
Jeff
I confess I had to read what Hemmers wrote today 3 times in order to understand it ( and I’m still not sure I do )
I heard ( but didn’t actually see) the march along Hennessy Road yesterday afternoon. ( BTW it’s amazing how different the numbers of marchers are: yesterdays organizers claimed 40,000 but the police said 2,600 – or was 2,632 ? If it really was so few the police could have counted to 4 significant figures)
Anyway, tomorrow is going to be fun along Hennessy Road. Methinks I will go watch to see if there is blood on the streets.
If it was not all so silly I would put on my walking shoes and join the pro- CY group, but I’m now seriously worried after reading Hemmers that I may accidentally join the the anti -CY group by mistake
I can imagine the confusion tomorrow for gweilos : ” Is this the pro -CY group or the anti- CY group ?” “No we are the anti -pro- dems group. That group ahead are the actual pro-dems and the other group behind us is anti-pro-CY. The real pro- CY group is still in Victoria park beating up reporters”
Good ones Jeff. I watched Shoot ‘Em Up over the weekend, and this scene reminded me of HK.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ov4JvTiQWUU
Gawd I lust Monica Bellucci
Police vs. demonstrators’ estimates score a whopping 99.93% on the darovia differential index – This amounts to a record level of polarisation, or perhaps a lack of numeracy that could be put right by a goodly dose of national education.
Considering the antics of both (or all 4 or 5) sides, Reasonable Jo Soap has no one he/she can support – Perhaps it’s time for yet another political party – one that actually understands the implications of the word ‘political’.
Hail 2013. Nice list Jeff. You need a holiday. See my list below.
Wow, a progressive Government with a programme, decisive action and not afraid of upsetting property barons, fishermen, the triads and New Territories phoney indigenous land-grabbing absentee landlords. No wonder Hong Kong is on the march. All those cynical suppositions and investments based on eternally continuing hegemony and vested interests politics UNDER THREAT! There is nothing more strident than the howl of poor loser capitalists.
But seriously, I was once again disappointed to find that you had not been included in Britain’s New Year Honours List, amazing when you think that they have given CBEs to stuttering nonentities, con artists and bum troublers at RTHK.
In order to raise your profile, you ought to be providing more public information services such as the following:
THE YEAR AHEAD
Hong Kong General Holidays for 2013
Every Sunday
Bun Moi Brown Slaves Occupying Central Day
1 January
Drinking Jolly Shandy and Throwing Up Day
11 February
Barely Remembered Relatives From Far-Flung Provinces Arrival Day
12 February
Relatives Put Down Jackets Back On And Piss Off Day
13 February
Opening Of Envelopes Day
29 March
Incomprehensible Gwailo Something Or Other Day
30 March
Yucky Lindt Chocolate Rabbit Buying Day
1 April
Yucky Lindt Chocolate Rabbit Eating Day
4 April
Hill Burning Festival
1 May
Long Hair Epiphany Day
17 May
Grandma Revolting Lunch Day
12 June
Summer Shopping Day
1 July
Locust Ritual Group Hate Day
20 September
Passing On Boxes Of Inedible Liver-Eroding Cakes To Relatives Day
1 October
Wearing Union Jack T-Shirt And Feeling Superior Day
14 October
Autumn Shopping Day
25 December
Winter Legover Festival
26 December
Cleaning Up And Making Up Some Story The Wife Will Believe Day
Just an aside, but has anyone who has passed through the banner wars in the TST Star Ferry noticed that no one in the “Hong Kong Youth Care Association” is under the age of 90?
It’s wonderful, actually. The Falun Gung dudes sit there meditating surrounded by posters of themselves being hauled off and tortured by people like the Hong Kong Youth Care Association, while the intolerant Hong Kong Youth Care Association sit around tolerating the Falun Gung’s apparently evil meditating.
Only in HK.
Great top 10’s and Public Holidays, Jeff and Lois – here’s for more madness in 2013.
@ Luis
The rugby sevens Sunday finals are on 24 March this year, not the 29th March
Really, that Now TV reporter got what he deserved. That’s what happens when you try to report an obvious rent-a-mob pseudo-event as “news”, you little wanker.
More from our “we’re not pretending very hard” dept: Nice to see many of the HK Youth Care Ass’n banners in TST have been slashed or defaced, and have been that way for days. I guess the contract that group got for their spontaneous outpouring of loyalty and devotion to the motherland doesn’t include maintenance.
We really have entered Alice in Wonderland territory when people are demonstrating against demonstrating.
why is today’s Big Lychee banner colored ‘shit green’ ?
Happy new year.
Here’s to less of LB clamoring to be the first comment on every BL posting.
I too noticed with great amusement Peter Robinson’s whining letter in the SCUMPOST. I think he deserves “Wanker Of The Year Award”! The subby who published it obviously did it out of spite!
@ Incredulous
I also was amazed that the SCUMPOST would publish such a stooopid letter
I have tried in vain to publish letters on real issues and resorted even to pseudonyms (thank God for spell check re that last word)
So the SCUMPOST is obviously lacking in quality letters to the editor – or else the f*******g editor deliberately prints such BS stuff to disguise the fact that he deliberately refuses to print the real stuff
ALEX LO : Hello ?
We should not be surprised by what the SCMP publishes on its letters page. After all they frequently give space to the senile rants of Elsie Elliot (aka TU), Hong Kong’s most famous turncoat.
@ Walter DH
I once wrote to the SCUMPOST on a very serious issue – I forget what it was, maybe something environment related. I got a call on my mobile from the SCUMPOST chief editor a couple of days before to confirm that I am Me.
So that stooopidly silly letter from Mr ‘idiot’ Robertson in SK was no fake
With loonies like Robertson and the SCUMPOT who needs the pro-dems in LEGCO ?
PS : but letters to the SCMP do work . I achieved more than one major success vs a public franchise company by this means, and thus “made a difference”