Great moments in the history of the Chinese Communist Party’s United Front work in Hong Kong. From Bolshevik times, the aim of United Front activity has been to unify the majority of the population broadly behind the leadership and isolate the remnants of hard-core opposition. In the Big Lychee, the methods involve patting the cooperative on the head a lot, while berating dissidents – or simply treating them as social outcasts. To keep the masses onside, anyone who strays from the team faces being banished into the wilderness like the enemy, who, Mao estimated in his day, would never total more than a tenth or so the populace. So effective has this approach been in pluralistic Hong Kong that the loyalist masses account for maybe 20 percent of the population, while a solid 60 percent or more of citizens fall into the category of nonconformists and are officially on the distant fringes, desolate and alone.
To rectify these disappointing numbers, the Beijing agents in the Big Lychee who pull the United Front strings engage in all sorts of ploys, ranging from childish to dirty. And, as of Friday, harebrained. Presumably sensing that the largely middle-class pro-democrats will start to devote some of their energies to issues like the wealth gap as a way to attack the political system and the Government and its supporters among the tycoons, the United Front masterminds have unveiled a bizarre scheme to enlist the offspring of our plutocrats to help tackle the plight of the poverty stricken and disadvantaged. Behold – the Centum Charitas Foundation.
Saturday’s South China Morning Post
This is an ambitious aim, to say the least. That said, I see potential for some good to come of this grand plan. According to the SCMP …
Online forums on suicide prevention, helping the disabled and the psychologically disturbed, and other social issues would be hosted by the foundation's members.
Mon, 14 Jan
Suharto, the strongman of Indonesia from 1967-98 has died. By ‘died’, I mean ‘just suffered organ failure at a faster rate than his children amassed riches, and the life support will be switched off any minute’. The phrase ‘strongman’ means ‘far-sighted leader of his nation’, and not ‘murdering mass-kleptomaniac’.
After showering and dressing, curiosity prevents me from leaving for the office without giving the unidentifiable visitor another inspection. In an act of rashness bordering on lunacy, I pick up a piece, examine it closely, smell it, and – after seeing my life flash before me – drop it into my mouth. Coconut.
Ever since 1842, Hong Kong has set its clocks by the annual announcement that the Heritage Foundation has named it Freest Economy in the Universe. Within seconds of the American think-tank’s declaration, the Big Lychee’s senior officials leap up and start strutting around with their chests puffed up, waving copies of the Index of Economic Freedom in people’s faces and telling anyone who will listen how dazzlingly successful the city is under (it goes without saying) their leadership.
Looking at the list, I can’t help noticing that a couple of countries that were never run by the British have made it into the Top 10. When our orgy of self-congratulation dies down, it might be appropriate to give a pat on the back to the plucky little Chileans and the gallant Swiss. Chile’s devotion to free markets has made it the world’s leading producer of wine you buy for unimportant strangers you won’t meet again, while Switzerland’s dedication to the pursuit of its comparative advantages has left it renowned as the land of master craftsmen, painstakingly carving those exquisite smooth holes into their cheese with their famous army knives. Which reminds me – Hong Kong’s bloated ‘small government’ doesn’t even have any defence expenditure.
One other recipient of this modest honour also takes it very seriously, and that is Singapore, where the urge to mask self-doubt with loud protestations of triumph is distinctly stronger than in Hong Kong – even after the latter’s post-1997 decline in confidence and pizzazz. The idea that the pitiful city-state is economically free is laughable – much of the workforce’s income is appropriated by bureaucrats to sink into politically determined investments that produce lousy returns. However, by careful planning, it is possible to increase one’s score in the Heritage Foundation’s index. And it is likely that, with the help of the Big Lychee’s creeping corporatism, market intervention and integration/partnership/co-operation with the Motherland, the Lion City will take number-one spot in the list within a few years. No longer will Hong Kong have to put up with excitable ex-civil servants running up and down every mid-January assuring anything that moves that we have proof yet again that the city is thriving under their visionary leadership. I can’t wait.
Is there any better way to begin the day than to enjoy a durian and tarragon cappuccino at the IFC Mall branch of Pacific Coffee while wild American friend Odell shows me his collection of hot ‘neti pot’ babes? The answer is yes – I would rather be able to read the paper in peace. The ex-Mormon is persistent, however.
For a man who must have seen millions of dollars wiped off the value of his portfolio during the current stock market semi-crash, the Big Boss is the apogee of radiant ebullience in the morning meeting today. My suspicion is that he is gloating at the far greater declines in paper riches that would have been experienced by Hong Kong’s famous elite – the Li Ka-shings, Lee Shau-kees, Kwoks, Chengs, Ho’s, Laus, et al, who appear in Forbes’ latest Big Lychee’s Most Loaded list.
Like the Queen, these men were fortunate enough not to have to create their own wealth – other people’s has been, and is, simply handed to them on a plate. Unlike the Queen, however, they have political power. This combination captures the imagination of their fellow citizens, who gaze in awe at these titans, where a less generous, more intolerant populace would years ago have had them kneeling on broken glass criticizing themselves and the feudal system that serves them.
Some say a chimpanzee could make the same billions, were he to inherit an electricity monopoly, a share of the Government-sanctioned property cartel or privileged access to Beijing. But this misses the point. Any primate can be descended from apes, but only a select few can be descended from Henry Fok or Sir Ellie Kadoorie.
The Big Boss tells the S-Meg Holdings management team how relieved he is that the number of candidates running for election to the National People’s Congress has fallen short of expectations. Voting will be easier now the 90 or 100 people considered likely to take part have mysteriously dwindled in number to the extent that the ballot will contain only a few more names than there are seats, of which there are 36. Beijing’s agents in Hong Kong, muses our visionary Chairman, found the idea of an actual contest far too disturbing. Anything could happen. So pressure has been applied, the obedient have taken the hint and withdrawn, the interlopers have failed to get nominations, and the pre-arranged winners – including a descendant of Henry Fok – will have their victories presented to them on the finest Ming Dynasty blue-glaze porcelain.
To mock someone for accepting such a worthless, if not embarrassing, bauble is fatuous, not to say low. Yet we are now being forced to witness pro-democratic members of the Big Lychee’s self-important legal fraternity bullying the Chairman of their own Bar Association for receiving this insignificant, if not insulting, accolade as if it were a threat to rule of law and civilization in general. To gang up on and torment someone who is clearly gullible is sickening enough. But to do it when the victim is already afflicted with the name Rimsky…
At least we have the weekend to get over it.
Has he ever heard of deed polls?
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