Diary entries - June 97

7th June 1997 Dear Gentle Readers, FABULOSITY hit town again last week with the American Navy cumming to our fair colony. Telephones were engaged as all the boyz were letting each other know that there were American beefcakes on the streets ! Personally, I find those MPs to be the cutest - well at least they have the best uniforms - sooo tight, yes the uniforms as well!  Pity however about that dreadful habit of chewing all the time, reminds Patsy of heifers on the farm chewing cud. Oh well you can't have absolutely everything in a man now can you ? The obligatory 3 steps, turn back and look was evident in all of Central and Wanchai when Patsy minced past those most eligible of seamen. You know what I mean - eye contact as you are walking towards each other on the footpath, passing, count one, two, three - look round ,smile, amble back and then get into thoughtful discussions about the American navy and what on earth do you do with those torpedos and things. Fabulous darlings - works every time! Hopefully all navies from around the globe will be sending ships into the colony prior to hand over so that we can savour the delights of the rest of the world, something akin to a food fest. Fabulous readers, keep those gaydars on full alert and keep safe! Love , Patsy. 13th June 1997 Dear Gentle Readers, What a sight this past weekend ! I tell you all dear readers, Patsy was ABSOLUTELY agog looking at all the meat on the beach. Patsy's neck was revolving at such a pace whilst promenading along the beach, that a visit to the local 'very nice' young doctor was needed on Tuesday morning. I am pleased to advise you that a minor case of whiplash was all that I suffered - one could not even walk the 3 pace rule before the next hunk walked towards your dear columnist. Yes dear readers, Patsy went to the dragon boat races on Monday. What a sight, what a feast ! What bodies ! What crotches ! What faces ! What expectations ! What wishful thinking ! What bunnnnnns ! There was competition on the beaches as well as on the water. On the water, those hunks were all trying to outdo each other by proving that they were stronger and fitter than the other crews. No need to have bothered dears. Patsy would have found out in a much more pleasant manner ! Pasty has to advise dear gentle readers, that fish was stranded on the beach ! Patsy, ably assisted by a few other NYM's, tried to get the fish into the water, without too much success - eyes were scratched and Patsy heard the phrase, on more than one occasion, ' Handbags at dawn - bitch' FABULOSITY reigns supreme dears. After all the competitions, Patsy was in her element w hen enticing all those lovely young men to get drunk. Patsy's motives for this type of social etiquette is quite simple. Most of those that I attempt to lure into my boudoir at such events tend to be 'straight'. However after a few pink gins they are gullible for anything and the morning after they can always pretend that they were totally legless and didn't know what was happening ! To all those men in the dragon boat festivals, 'Keep it up' - especially those lovely ones. One would hope that the Sei Gweilos will continue to participate next year to make the event a most memorable one for all our readers. Keep it up and keep it safe fabulous darlings!! Love, Patsy.

Not the South China Morning Post Patsy