Diary entries - 13
Not the South China Morning Post

Dear Gentle Readers,

So sorry that I haven’t written for such a long time, but well you see there have been things going on in my life that have been using up all my spare time.   Unfortunately I’m not one of those lucky people who are able to swoon around in their Pajamas all day - some of us have to work during the day and go cruising in the night .

Talking about cruising, dear gentle readers, I must tell you of the latest little cruising area your dear columnist has found - Hong Kong Park, It’s fabulous darlings, within  5mins of being in the park, whammo there you are with a nice wee thing on your arm !   Even though on one occasion a man did use the pretext of pretending to see a snake (no not the one eyed trouser type)  in the bushes which made him clutch his pearls and then approached me to share in his predicament. A very unusual way of picking me up.    The usual  …..”do you want a cup of tea” …. , or similar such banalities, would have done just as well.   Nevertheless we had a pleasant day of it and my memories of snakes in Hong Kong Park is forever engraved in my mind.

Onto more serious stuff, we went to the Opera in Macau last week.   Where were you all ?????   There wasn’t one NYM in the audience.  I only managed to spot one LOQ in the whole place.   Have you all given up on being Queens now that Diana has passed away ?  

The Opera itself, Carmen , would have been a delightful little ditty in the normal world .  But please remeber we are talking now of Macau.   I, dear readers, am one of those people who like to go to these sorts of events and actually concentrate on the performance  at hand.  But in the Macau Wrestling Ring - yes I swear that the place that they hold these things is either a boxing or wrestling ring - I decided to give up and listen and observe the audience, and what a pleasant evening we had of it as well !!

Firstly, there were the sensible bunch of FILTH in front of us (Failed In London, Try HongKong) who brought along their own fluffy cushions - they have obviously suffered on those seats at the previous world wrestling championships.      They then proceeded to open their bottles of plonk which they had brought along complete with wine glasses.    It was a little off putting to listen to the delightful sound of another bottle being opened whilst Jose pours out his feeling during La Fleur que tu m’avais jette !   The one thing that these hurrah henry’s didn’t bring along were their pork pies.

Of course there were those in the audience who came along to chatter to their friends during the performance.   There obviously is something in life that is so much better to be whispering in a large crowd  rather than being in the confines of your own house, restaurant, pub  or what ever and be able to listen to each other in a normal audible voice… maybe it is their theory that it helps to keep the ear functioning better, who knows.

Then there are the indeterminable ill who come to such soirees  to cough their lungs out, to wheez, spit, sneeze, pick their noses, clean their lug-holes, cut fingernails, toenails and clear their throats.

I can forgive all of those types of people mentioned above at such a venue… the one thing that Patsy does draw the line at for shear unadulterated bad manners is the person sitting next to you passing wind !    The old saying was proven to be correct…. The silent ones are the dangerous ones !!    Those farts dropped at various stages throughout the performance  not only stank , they were positively hazardous to my health!!!

The Orchestra did at least show up so a few points there for them. A bit of a shame really as their best effort was that of finding the stage. They didn’t actually get to find too many notes and those that they did manage to find did come out in a rather haphazard manner, especially the wind section…. Maybe they were emulating or attempting to copy the person next to me .

The chorus was huge, but the voices could not be heard - maybe just as well, but I think that I may be doing them an injustice on that matter… more volume would have helped.    

The one act that did manage to attract my attention on stage was the dance troupe brought over from Spain, I believe.    Those Spanish men in their tight trousers sure didn’t leave much to the imagination as to the size of their lunch boxes.   There were obviously some very hungry men their as their lunch packets were huge… more like a quarter pounder feast…..whilst your dear columnist has to survive on a stick of celery for my lunch !

Well dear readers, after 4 hours of sitting on those rock hard seats and realising that there wasn’t a chance of picking up any NYM’s we headed home before the finale, just as well really as it was reported the next day that there was a gang fight at the ferry terminal about the time of the finish of the Opera.

To those in the audience who I took great interest in watching you perform  a hearty thankyou.    To the performers on the stage, yes well keep on taking the tablets, maybe one day they’ll work for you in becoming a singer or musician.   To the organisers, well yes, maybe next year you should try holding the opera in the ferry terminal, just about as much ambience and acoustic qualities as the Forum .

It is nice to know that I have such a large readers following out there - but I do take exception to being called a “sad and sour drag queen” !    Queen yes, drag Queen -
NO !

Bye for now,

Keep it up (you lucky ones) and keep it safe,