|Diary entries - 12|
|Not the South China Morning Post
|Dear Gentle Readers,
It has been a while since I have put pen to paper for this esteemed magazine and I must apologise profusely for this lapse which has been caused mainly by too much Bollie, Stollie, sex, drugs and rock and roll. No other excuses are at hand, so if you have been logging on to the web site faithfully to find out all about my latest low-life encounters you would obviously have been disappointed. Nevertheless I can assure you that what you have been missing out on in the past few weeks, I havenít !!!
Edina persuaded me to take another hol. Well I must say it was needed as I never really recovered from that other hol in Ö..
This holiday was spent in a country well known for 60 year old men crucifying a famous Led Zeppelin song and whose other cultural exports are a warbling soprano who wears the most hideous green dresses, and another warbling girl who is unable to hold one note at any pitch more than a nano second. Yes sweetie darlings I went to the land of Oz. Come to think of it, what has Australia given the world, well besides Madis Gras ?
I must put some misconceptions about gay life in oz to bed . It is not true that all poofs in Tasmania use the phrase ďBrace yourself mateĒ as a foreplay to sex.
Nor is it true that all ocker poofs have sex with sheep, some sheep are just too ugly for even the most desperate ocker to go with.
Bodyline sauna, donít pretend that you donít know about it, has moved !! It is now in Taylor street _ I thought that I would let you know that as part of my goodwill to the peasantry.
Well most of the men there have still a attitude problem. Not quite certain as to the exact nature of their attitude problem, is that because they have no dress sense? Perhaps it is the size of their appendages that causes it ? Or is it simply that being descended from criminals they all still havenít come to terms with their lot ?
Not to worry, there are obviously some very lovely Australians and I meet quite a few of them, yes sweetie darlings I visited a grave yard whilst there !
Sydney is in full preparation for Sleeze Ball which happens to be this weekend ,being a long weekend. All the muscle maryís are spending longer in the gym each night, new shipments of e and other substances are hitting the streets, the DJs are searching for the new sounds, organisers are organising, breweries are brewing, mineral water bottlers are working overtime and dress makers are making outlandish frocks (even more outlandish than Joan Sutherlands !), all which means that the pretty boyz are not out on the street at the moment and your poor columnist had to put up with the dogs of Sydney, and boy are there a few around, just as in any city.
Itís not that Iím that too particular about the men who pick me up, but some of these were, well shall we say to be polite, a little past their sell by date ! And the trouble with this particular type of person is that their buns are not that tight, all soft and saggy - yeeeech. You can always overcome the sad face with a pillow or double paper bag, but a saggy bum ? Pleeeeeeze. So do us all a favour, go and have a look in the mirror and see what your bum looks likeÖ If itís similar to Quintain Crisps 30 years ago, start those exercises !!!!
Well sweetie darlings will sign off now, will no doubt see you in Zips in the next week.
Keep it up and keep safe.