Diary entries - 10
Not the South China Morning Post

Dear Gentle Readers,

Yet another week has passed us by in this great metropolis called the Peoples Republic of pseudo Hong Kong.   One must admit that life has not changed since the tanks and army arrived 6 weeks ago from China - except that well there just doesn’t seem to be that many new ‘Potato’ faces around anymore.   Even that hideous place named ‘Propaganda’ just doesn’t appear to attract the  cute gay tourist any more.    Are my observations correct or has Patsy just not had the gaydar on ultra sensitive sense my return from …..     Or was Patsy just so spoilt for choice on holiday that no matter what Hong Kong offers, it just pails into insignificance compared to those on holiday ?

I have been severely reprimanded from a couple which I met on holiday for not mentioning them in last weeks column.     This couple of Scandinavian beauties deserved more of Patsy’s time on holiday than a quick one night stand, but there were just so many thingies to do !  So hi to ‘magic meat’ and ‘sweetie’.

Talking of one night stands I remember a hideous occasion  when I had gone to a popular pub which had a ‘famous’ obese drag queen hosting a ‘show’ for the punters.   I was desperate for a f… that night and whilst in the bog who should waddle in, yes you’ve guessed it, Miss obese herself.   To cut a long story ( and an embarrassing one) short, I woke the following morning , sober, staring at a blonde Dolly Parton party wig on the chair next to the bed.    I was so shocked that I nearly shat myself and swore to myself that I would never again touch drugs, gin or fat talentless drag acts with names like French maids !

Well at least that is better than the time  a friend of mine decided to go to the local ‘beat’ after work, desperate for a shag.   Unfortunately he forgot, in his eagerness to get said shag, that he worked for Kentucky Fried C……..(?)  and was still wearing a promotional chicken outfit!    Fortunately for him it didn’t hinder his chances and got his much needed shag !

Oh well, those are all things of the past and in a different region to Asia.   Here, family values would not tolerate such behaviour !    Instead, the Asian value is for the parents to work till late in the evening, have their children brought up by the Philippine maid.   The son , at the age of 16 , gets the Philippine maid pregnant !   hmmmm.    And of course don’t forget that homosexuality is, according to the great Chinese philosophers, a ‘western’ decease.’

One must not reminisce too much of the past, but without those memories  of previous life, life here in Hong Kong would, in periods, be intolerable.  Ask any poof worth his salt when was the last time he was truly entertained, fag style, here in Hong Kong and I bet the answer would be at the ‘Unity’ party during the hand over when the flamboyant Grace Jones entertained us in a true fag, never to be repeated, style show.   I mean to say, you can’t even shop at one of those blacked out shop window  sex shops when all is lost and buy a knuckle rattler magazine, how uncivilised.

I must sign off now as I have to plan for this long weekend, should I go to Middle Bay Beach, Cheung Sha Beach, or go cruising at 3rd floor of Pacific Place on Monday ?   Decisions, decisions, need another bollie darlings, so will sign off.

Keep it up and keep it safe.