Fake and boring on the campaign trail

It is obvious that the Chinese government has chosen senior bureaucrat Carrie Lam as Hong Kong’s next Chief Executive. Although she is being handed the job on a plate, the Communist-style process involves a make-believe ‘election’ by a rigged group of 1,200 voters in March. For the sake of appearances, she must therefore mount a sham campaign. With no incentive (let alone aptitude) to win public support, her efforts are so superficial as to be embarrassing and insulting.

Her supposed rally on Friday was needlessly fake-looking, right down to the sterile Convention Centre location and the contrived enthusiasm of the invitation-only audience. The South China Morning Post dutifully reported that she melted hearts with her personal touch. But the biggest affront to ordinary citizens was the presence of dozens upon dozens of predictable tycoon-bureaucrat/pro-Beijing establishment, crony and shoe-shiner ‘elites’…

In terms of public perception, this was excessive and counter-productive. As well as mighty property developers and devout Communist sympathizers, there were legions of familiar (not to say faded and mostly octogenarian) opportunists and sycophants, right down to the ubiquitous Bunny Chan. So superfluous was this parade of cartels and zombies that Carrie subsequently felt a need to point out her token handicapped and brown-skinned fans…

…as if her toilet paper, MTR, Mainland beggar and other idiocies weren’t stomach-churning enough.

In fairness to the lady, she is a pawn in Beijing’s Leninist United-Front game. To the Mainland officials behind the scenes, the main priority is extracting public displays of loyalty from the ‘various sectors’ that comprise the Communist Party’s local power base.

Many, if not most, of the assembled great and good do not particularly like Carrie. The tycoons fear being sidelined by Mainland political-business interests (noticeably absent at the rally), while the traditional red Beijing loyalists resent a British-trained colonial-era running dog being elevated to the top job. The purpose of the rally was to force them all to openly kowtow to the emperor’s anointed one.

In terms of public presentation, it gets more laughable. Diligent netizens quickly find that Carrie’s ‘We Connect’ slogan is also the name of a desperate sex-app. And the next excitement will be her quasi-platform – guaranteed to be devoid of any imagination, vision or specifics, because why should she bother?

We went through all of this five years ago, when tycoon-official Henry Tang engaged in a similarly unconvincing pretense at running in an election. Murky Beijing factional skullduggery knocked him out of the picture at the last minute, but the Xi regime seems to have a grip on the 2017 proceedings. Few establishment figures dare openly back Carrie’s rivals, and those who say they are undecided sound unconvincing.

Former Financial Secretary John Tsang isn’t totally giving up. His recent stunt is crowdfunding his campaign, which is presumably designed to stir subliminal symbolism of young underdog localist legislators raising legal funds against political persecution. By Hong Kong standards, this is quite edgy and clever – which is what happens when you don’t get something handed on a plate.

Confident that the winner is a shoe-in, the SCMP slaps smart-ass John down by sneering that Carrie is too busy dedicating herself to her noble public-service mission to bother with this on-line stuff…

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New Year resolution: make rigged HK election look less rigged

The big news today is that someone out there finds it a ‘shock’ that University of Hong Kong Vice-chancellor Peter Mathieson is quitting. If the guy had wanted to stay as the Chinese Communist Party stuffed the school’s governing body with sniveling shoe-shiners – that would be a story. Given the likely pay-cut involved in moving from a Hong Kong to a UK university at his level, I will forgive him for occasionally walking a dog through my neighbourhood.

Meanwhile, Beijing’s United Front forces are busy micro-managing the quasi-election for Hong Kong’s Chief Executive. Observant insomniacs will have noticed that two significant blocs have recently started to look slightly less than 100% supportive of presumed ‘winner’ Carrie Lam.

The DAB – the Communists’ main local party-political appendage – is rather too obviously maintaining that at least some of its zombies are undecided. Coquettish front-person Starry Lee even claims that ‘the personal preferences of the [Leninist totalitarian brainwashing machine] members should be respected’. Translation: our masters in Beijing’s local Liaison Office worry that the whole ‘election’ charade is looking idiotic, and have told us to make it look a bit more real.

The grasping rural godfathers of the Heung Yee Kuk are also putting on a show of being slightly less pro-Carrie. Perhaps they too got a call from the Liaison Office. But they will also no doubt see a chance to extract concessions on their illicit feudal land-scams from candidates or higher powers in return for their loyalty. One of them blurts out to the South China Morning Post that they are, anyway, still unsure whether Carrie is definitely going to be Beijing’s choice.

One of the distinguishing traits of the otherwise motley rabble that comprise the pro-Beijing alliance is that many – not all, but a higher-than-average proportion – are at the intellectually less-dazzling end of the spectrum. It couldn’t be otherwise, if you consider that being best friends with the Communist Party requires obedience and the parroting of the official line, however absurd.

Sadly, this manifests itself in Beijing’s choice of Hong Kong leaders. We have had three so far. Two have been kicked out by popular demand of the (disfranchised) citizens, while one is on trial on corruption charges. Carrie Lam looks set to be the fourth, but John Tsang would do at a pinch.

It must be clear by now that Beijing’s number-one and overwhelming qualification for the job is total loyalty and obedience. Under Xi Jinping, it’s worse. To Communists paranoid about foreign-tainted Hong Kong, this rules out anyone with a streak of independence (a problem with overly ambitious Regina Ip), their own mind, flair, originality – indeed, probably leadership skills. So you can forget any chance of real new thinking on housing, education, traffic and so on. The CCP is too frightened of people who are capable (just in case you wondered why, out of 7 million people, our establishment ‘elite’ is comprised of blinkered bureaucrats, scions and shoe-shiners).

Asia Sentinel wonders whether Beijing might yet pull the plug on Carrie if she continues with her toilet-paper, Octopus card, Mainland beggar, Palace Museum, messages-from-God mishaps. Maybe we should hope it doesn’t happen – the more clumsy and out-of-touch with the young and educated the next CE, the better the chances of some real change later on. John Tsang (biggest brainwave: food trucks) would have exactly the same non-policies, but distract everyone with his flying Kung Fu kicks and French movies.

I declare the weekend open with hopes that China’s whole state-corporate house of cards is approaching its end – some intriguing reading on Alibaba’s recent investor-update and an Alibaba-related deal.


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HK encounters ‘One Party, no systems’

The South China Morning Post invites Hong Kong’s four Chief Executive candidates to comment on the apparent abduction of Xiao Jianhua by Mainland agents…

Only former Security Secretary Regina Ip says anything of substance – and that’s about the lack of a cross-border extradition arrangement (a logical challenge, as we shall see).

The SCMP tentatively links Xiao’s detention with China’s 2015 stock-market turmoil. Maybe Xiao helped elite families use insider knowledge to profit from the bubble and dump stocks before the crash. The abduction may be to silence him, or make him talk, according to Xi Jinping’s taste as the kleptocracy’s power-struggles continue.

Some sleuth-like investigative journalism on connections between Xiao and our local business players and establishment would be interesting. Hong Kong, as we are often reminded, is the ‘super-connector’ that provides corporate partnerships, deal-making expertise and financial, legal and accounting services to people doing business between China and the world. Xiao didn’t choose this city as a base just because he and his female bodyguards liked the view from the Four Seasons.

While we’re waiting for that, we can consider how helpless everyone else is. One media report (which I’ve lost) quoted someone whining about how this episode could scare Mainland scumbag money away from our shores. But that’s the only bright side.

The international press vaguely mention fears of Chinese meddling without saying who might be fearful, or of what. Hong Kong’s government, police and other authorities can only stand by, dumb and helpless, as the Leninist state’s henchmen walk in and do as they please. The aforementioned Chief Executive candidates are reduced to the same pawn-like status as the rest of us.

Beijing’s officials and local shoe-shiners criticize Hong Kong pro-democrats for failing to comprehend ‘One Country, Two Systems’ and the Basic Law properly. The naïve Western-influenced unpatriotic elements need to understand that the ‘two systems’ are subservient to the ‘one country’, and the Basic Law is a national law created in Beijing, not some ordinance passed by the Legislative Council.

The truth is that everyone is deluding themselves.

The Communist Party is above ‘One Country’, let alone ‘Two Systems’. It is above the Basic Law. It is above the PRC Constitution. It applies whatever rules it chooses wherever it wants to whoever it wants. What Carrie Lam or John Tsang or our CE or Security Bureau can’t admit is that it is they – not the Beijing secret agents – who are out of their jurisdiction here.

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Chicken Year starts with a squawk or two

Phew… It was a grueling and exhausting four-day weekend for anyone on Planet Twitter, where the Trump administration’s ‘Muslim Ban’ unleashed incessant, full-scale, howling, hysterical outrage. Such a deluge of righteous fury about fascism and evil is not only unsustainable, but probably disproportionate given the prospects for stupider, nastier and scarier measures in the near future.

Much depends on how soon and how often such policy-mayhem erupts, but I can’t see Trump finishing a four-year term by a long shot. Reality will intrude, his Svengali-advisor-freaks will eat each other, and his ‘friends’, allies and apologists will slink or scurry away. In frustration, he will suddenly detonate – blame everyone else for their failure and betrayal, declare the nation and world unworthy of his visionary leadership and genius, and probably set fire to the Oval Office before storming out.

It all seems so much calmer and more relaxing here in Hong Kong. Our only mildly shocking and unthinkable horror today is that Mainland agents operating out of their jurisdiction have (allegedly/presumably/obviously) abducted another person as part of ever-so-powerful-and-confident Chinese leader Xi Jinping’s struggle for political survival.

The local press struggle to explain Xiao Jianhua’s disappearance, while the Hong Kong authorities treat it as a case of man-left-hotel-with-bunch-of-guys. Behind the scenes, the Chinese censors and propagandists concoct a highly convincing and reassuring story that may or may not entail (wah – so original!) medical treatment.

The most parochial and pitiful part of the drama is yet to come – when Carrie Lam and other Chief Executive hopefuls have to self-flagellate by parroting a Communist Party-friendly line no-one believes.


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For sale: gold washbasins. Wanted: stairway

You will notice that, thanks to microscopic rounding-down of figures in this table, the HK$17 million office-decoration and HK$13 million rental costs don’t quite total (with sundries) HK$40 million…

This is what the government will spend on transition arrangements for Carrie Lam (or whoever Beijing chooses to ‘win’ Hong Kong’s Chief Executive phony election in March). Full story, complete with the official take-it-or-leave-it briefing for legislators, here.

The Chief Executive-elect’s 28-strong transition team will include no fewer than four chauffeurs/drivers, presumably to fetch toilet paper. But the real costs are due to office accommodation. This is partly because, as HKFP notes…

The office would only be used between March 26 and June 30 this year, but the rental period would be between late January and mid-August as office fittings will need to be installed and removed.

So the HK$13 million goes on renting the most-expensive-we-could-find office space for six-and-a-half months, while the government-in-waiting occupies it for just three.

And, as you would expect given the time it takes to install and remove them, the fittings must be of palatial extravagance, coming in at HK$17 million. Something tells me that, unlike a lot of public-sector furniture, this stuff will not be produced at Stanley Prison. (If I were the government spin-doctor here I would find a way to subtract the resale or re-use value from these figures. Surely the gold washbasins, ‘barely used’, can later be sold off on eBay or donated to an old people’s home?)

This story does not exactly lend credence to the pretense that a real election with an unpredictable result is about to take place – it has Lush Lavish Luxury of Louis XIV Lam written all over it.

I declare the four-day Rooster-Year weekend open with a slightly more down-to-earth public-works horror. This (from Google Street View) is the junction of Lyndhurst Terrace and Cochrane Street as it was up to a year ago…

Note a building (A) and a stairway to the footbridge (B).

The building (possibly the original HQ of Blacksmith Books, or at least next door) existed up until around a month ago. Then, within a couple of raucous and dusty weeks, it had vanished and turned into this pile of rubble (as seen from the Mid-Levels Escalator/footbridge)…

A classic example of private-sector efficiency, on gentrification steroids.

Just a few feet away, the stairway was sealed off roughly a year ago (minimum 8-10 months) and at some point demolished.

This was a major inconvenience to pedestrians, as it is the only access/exit point between the walkway system and this block between two busy roads (Lyndhurst and Hollywood).

The idea is to add an elevator – one of 230 promised by Chief Executive CY Leung years ago to make life easier for the old folks. Mankind could put a man on the moon in 1969, yet now in the 2010s we cannot build a lift without removing a stairway. And (needless to say) here we are, the best part of a year later, and nothing has happened. You still cannot get on and off the walkway system at Cochrane/Lyndhurst, and there is still no sign of anyone coming to construct the elevator.

Wading through the Civil Engineering and District Council online swamps, I find a take-it-or-leave-it briefing for our elected representatives about this idiocy, known as HF135. The bureaucrats describe a ‘public consultation’ process, which yielded comments from residents including elderly and disabled groups saying they would rather the stairway stayed open…

Wrong answer, obviously.

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Post-truth world loves ‘China to replace US’ meme

The decline and withdrawal of the US – as exemplified by the abandonment of the Trans-Pacific Partnership free-trade pact – creates a space that China can and will occupy. The South China Morning Post is a predictable proponent of this indisputable concept/meme/dream/fact…

…but similar commentary appears in the much of the Western media…

There must be a reason why not only Donald Trump, but Bernie Saunders and (in desperation) Hillary Clinton promised to ditch TPP. That reason is that the TPP was over-weighted towards producer rather than consumer interests. The media commentators’ fondness for these institutions and structures is a bit of a puzzle. Is it the trips, lunches, giveaways at press conferences, or what? (Another example is the commentators’ freak-out over Brexit – as if the EU wasn’t a bloated bureaucratic-visionary over-reach that neglected the interests of people. Another is taking Xi’s blather, or anything at Davos, seriously.)

Donald Trump clearly has narcissistic personality disorder, and this will create messes and trouble until he leaves office. However, the Chinese Communist Party has an even bigger institutional, collective problem. The CCP is not only sociopathic, egocentric and (it seems) victim to a fantasy-based world-view – it has full-blown paranoia.

It can’t relax enough to consider grand strategy. It’s too busy putting out real or imagined fires and making everything up as it goes along. It has no values to expound. It cannot handle, let alone establish, rules-based systems, or otherwise set positive examples and standards. All it knows is raw power and control, and brutality. It has no capacity for enlightened self-interest (a la Marshall Plan) or shared responsibility (say, NATO).

The good news is that a CCP-led China won’t get bogged down in pointless interventionist adventures. But it also means it can’t/won’t provide ‘leadership’ for the world’s economy – they can’t even face basic reforms to their own.

The CCP’s only agenda is keeping itself in power in China, in a world full of enemies. Everything else must be subservient to that. Mercantilism, protectionism and IP theft work. Strutting around with a second-hand aircraft carrier and cultivating tributary regimes in Pakistan and Cambodia conceivably help. But anything else – certainly even-handed multilateral engagement – is a dangerous distraction. Replacing the US on the international stage isn’t an option.

A replacement for Trump, on the other hand, is realistic, and only a matter of time.

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Sham election just starting to get seriously phony

There is one candidate supposedly hoping to get on the ballot in Hong Kong’s forthcoming Chief Executive fake-election who talks some sense – Justice Woo Kwok-hing. He is an outsider and no-hoper, and apparently having fun saying what ‘serious’ wannabes dare not. Speaking yesterday, he noted that most members of the 1,200-strong rubber-stamp Election Committee seem primarily interested in making sure they correctly identify and back Beijing’s pre-selected winner.

As if on cue, the Heung Yee Kuk – a Beijing-friendly lobby of grasping and lawless rural landed interests – dither over whether to openly support Carrie Lam. Some of the village henchmen discuss joining her ‘campaign team’, while others openly advise waiting until the Chinese Communist Party ‘issues its orders’ about who to vote for.

Carrie will be waving her pearls at a media circus and extravaganza at the Convention Centre at the end of next week. It will no doubt be a classic formulaic Hong Kong fake-election fake-event, put together by an amoral PR agency who know full well it will look like crap to the rest of the world. Expect gushing supporters in matching T-shirts, a vacuous slogan, a ‘manifesto’ of drivel, and famous/goofy personages including tycoons (definitely), ex-bureaucrats (ditto), a faded Cantopop star or two (probably), a hapless medal-winning disabled athlete (probably) and other opportunists and reluctant recruits.

Watch for signs from apparently uncommitted players, like the aforementioned Heung Yee Kuk mafia or members of inscrutable United Front-led parties and groups. I can’t see ranking Chinese officials being so grotesquely unsubtle as to openly endorse Carrie at this pre-‘nomination’ stage (surely?), but glowing coverage in the pro-Beijing media is assured. The proceedings will be marked by a distinct lack of sincerity, enthusiasm or indeed reality. Forget the passion of a Trump/Hillary/Bernie gig. Ordinary members of the public will of course not be present.

Outside the hall, it may be a different matter. Perhaps demonstrators will turn up, and bring some badly needed spontaneity, feeling and soul. And maybe witty props. I can’t possibly imagine what.


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Shoe-shiners beg CCP for slight appearance of fairness

Today’s burning question: How much should the Chinese Communist Party rig a rigged election?

Hong Kong lawmaker Regina Ip warns against an overly obvious CCP bias towards Carrie Lam in the fake poll for the city’s Chief Executive. It would, Regina fears, harm Carrie’s credibility.

This is of course true – but (believe it or not) Regina is not being purely altruistic here.

While she probably realizes that Beijing will not appoint her Chief Executive, she has by all accounts set her heart on being on the ballot for the pseudo-election this March. Yet if the Communist regime wants the charade to be a 100% rather than just a 95% stitch-up, they can always keep her name off the list. Her whining that this is unfair would be almost touching if the Leninist system were conspiring against her alone. But it is designed to exclude all 7 million Hongkongers from having a say in their own governance, and she has had years to speak out about it, had she wished.

In her frustration, she stoops to an ancient gesture of aggressive defiance and exposes herself to bystanders – albeit on the radio.

Almost as soon as Carrie announced her ‘decision’ to ‘run’, the pro-Beijing press published fawning items about her. An op-ed piece in today’s South China Morning Post lists some of them, but omits an obvious one.

The article essentially repeats the general complaint made by Regina Ip – that Beijing is more than ever abandoning any pretense that Hong Kong’s Chief Executive appointment-ritual is an election with some shred of competition, fairness or uncertainty about it…

Which brings us back to the question of how much election-rigging is too much?

The answer would appear to be: when the shoe-shiners obediently acting out their parts in the sham find it embarrassing. The 2017 exercise is looking so heavy-handed, even the media that spout propaganda are complaining that it’s looking too heavy-handed.

For Regina, this frankness is a particularly painful betrayal. She has kowtowed to the Communist god in every hideously obsequious way imaginable, dreaming of her ultimate reward, but is apparently of no further use. (Unless the script-writers decide to put her on the ballot as designated loser, to keep the relatively popular John Tsang out of the picture. Beijing’s idea of a pat on the head.)

Another way of asking the question is: At what point is the election-rigging enough? For Xi Jinping’s Communist regime, petrified by CIA-backed pan-dems launching pro-independence colour revolutions from Tsuen Wan to Tibet, the answer is, of course, never. This is no time for chabuduo.

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Does she know how to tie her own shoe-laces?

The week starts with a fairly average Hong Kong Chief Executive ‘election’ mouth-froth. Carrie Lam, the Chinese Communist Party’s apparent pick for the job, says she decided to take part because it would be a disaster if there was no-one Beijing trusted on the ballot. Cue widespread outrage, as this is interpreted as a slur against rival John Tsang, whose American upbringing, past service to last colonial Governor Chris Patten and perceived disloyalty to current CE CY Leung are presumed to count against him.

In a genuine democratic election, it would be acceptable and obvious to attack a rival candidate for being somehow unsuitable for office. The uproar in this case is a mark of how perverse the quasi-election is. (Perhaps inadvertently, the South China Morning Post gets a better angle by stressing Carrie’s legitimacy problem if John Tsang has higher opinion-poll ratings. It’s worth mentioning here that opinion polls in this rigged system tend to beg the question of which candidate respondents think Beijing will pick, not which one they personally prefer.)

Despite all the whining, Carrie is simply telling the truth: Beijing choses the winner, and post-1997 experience shows that the Communist Party places sycophancy above competence – absolutely and always. The lady’s mendacity is in suggesting that she entered the ‘race’ for fear of what would happen without her on the ballot. Beijing told her to offer herself, and she obeyed. If she had not, the Chinese officials would have prodded another high-sycophancy/low-competence stooge into the role. The prospects of ornamental rivals like John Tsang would be unaffected.

Carrie had told an audience of insiders that God advised her to run/‘run’. Sadly, the Almighty neglected to help her out on such basics as: ensuring her household supply of toilet rolls; attending the correct funeral home out of a citywide choice of two; and knowing how to use an Octopus Card on the MTR. We are told she is an enormously capable administrator, yet these simple life skills are beyond her.

Her pro-democracy and radical detractors are now faced with a terrible choice. They will plan to taunt her for years to come with symbols, props, memes and other cruel and vicious reminders of her shortcomings. With CY, it was his inability to win more than a dismal 689 votes in a rigged poll of 1,200 ‘voters’. With Carrie, it could be something inspired by toilet paper (how can you go wrong/where do you start?), or it could draw on her ignorance of public transport and stored-value cards, and presumably day-to-day life for humankind in general. And she may yet struggle to reach 800 votes in the fake election.

Opposition activists seeking ideas for distasteful imagery with possible toilet-paper subtexts could do worse than check out today’s double-page ad in the middle of the SCMP, which invites us to view a grubby item of men’s underwear and consequently feel compelled to rush out and buy Calvin Klein products…

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John Tsang’s fantasy

After being forced to wait while Beijing ensures Carrie Lam gets all the attention, former Financial Secretary John Tsang declares his wish to be Hong Kong’s next Chief Executive. His supporters have made use of the time to package him as modest, accessible and blessed with a common touch – in contrast to the arrogant and elitist image of his rival. For example, he has a trendy, content-lite website, while Carrie doesn’t dare have a Facebook page.

He delivered his announcement in a suitably sort-of-endearing, slightly bumbling, self-conscious, unpolished manner. He dutifully bowed to Beijing by claiming pro-Chinese patriotic activity while a student in the US, and denouncing Hong Kong’s pro-independence sentiment. But he also obliquely acknowledged the sad situation in the city today – the sad situation caused by the Chinese Communist Party’s malevolence – by voicing his distress at young people talking about leaving. As an attempt to differentiate himself from Carrie and appeal to the young and educated, it’s reasonably slick.

His ‘twin peaks’ logo is (by Hong Kong CE ‘election’ standards) hilariously witty – a visual pun on his trademark moustache. It is also supposed to remind you of Lion Rock, emblem of Hong Kong’s resilience and optimism in the glory days of the 70s and 80s, and of course stylishly adopted a couple of years ago by the Umbrella pro-democracy movement. An outline of the feline-shaped hilltop would have been too obvious, but you get the message.

Getting deeper into subliminal symbolism here, the logo also brings to mind the Lingnan badge. ‘Lingnan’ is an old name for the Guangdong/Guanxi area and is associated with Guangzhou educational institutions going back to the 19th Century. It also refers to a Cantonese school of painting from the early-mid 20th Century. Just in case you were wondering where the localist/regionalist vibes were coming from.

I could go on about the resemblance to Barak Obama’s logo, and the similarities between John’s ‘Trust, Unity, Hope’ slogan and ‘Yes We Can’, but we are getting sidetracked.

John’s supporters, gathered on stage with him at his press meeting yesterday, look like a bunch of civil-service dweebs, as befit a well-intentioned and ineffective bureaucrat. Behind the scenes, however, are the local property and other tycoons who backed Henry Tang in 2012 and detest CY Leung. It comes to something when the parasites who have blighted our economy and lives for decades apparently see common cause with young radicals against the threat of Beijing’s Leninist oppression.

Beijing, needless to say, will have none of it. Barring a direct meteorite hit, Carrie is the chosen one.

The only uncertainty is how the United Front puppet-masters play it. Common sense says they should arrange for the unpopular Regina Ip to be the designated loser on the ballot. John, by contrast, would probably outperform Carrie in public opinion polls. Perhaps they have ways of making sure he doesn’t – they have dirt on everyone. Or perhaps scorning public opinion would be the point. Because they can. That’s the Communist Party’s motto: ‘Yes We Can (you have no say in the matter)’.

Which bring us rather elegantly to something else…

‘Because they can’ is the answer to a joke question about (male) dogs. And I declare the weekend open with the sad news, which has only just reached us, of the death of Francis, co-host of the magnificent YouTube show Cooking With Dog, as seen here, here and here, complete with the world’s creepiest-ever English voice-over.

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