101 Uses for a Dead Cruise Terminal

It is just over three years since I last made an Inspection Tour of the Kai Tak Themed Cruise Mega-Hub Terminal. It can’t be any more deserted today than it was then – apparently it hosts the occasional wedding banquet. But a recent Audit Commission report damned it, and everyone knows it’s just another white elephant.

What could you do with all that space? In 2014, I suggested people use it for then-trendy-fad ‘parkour’, a Homeless Squat Concept Zone, and – rather presciently – raves. You could easily fit half a dozen Hidden Agenda-type clubs into just one corner of the complex, being designed for thousands of oh-so precious tourists, the structure must meet all the fire-safety codes.

You could convert part of it into elderly homes, and another part (a decent distance away) could house thousands of columbarium niches. That would still leave room for artists’ studios, shelters for victims of spousal abuse, student dorms, half-way houses, and other facilities people don’t want in their neighbourhood. You could even have sanctuary kennels for the dog-worshipers to put their rescued hounds. Throw in some cheapo food courts and an outdoor market and the place would be buzzing.

The greatest irony: tourists would love it.

I declare the weekend open with some book news. Aging gwailos’ memoirs of our city are probably best avoided – but this looks like an exception: Syd Goldsmith’s Hong Kong on the Brink, about the (topical) 1967 riots. At least, the interview with the author was the first entire podcast I’ve sat through for months.

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8 Responses to 101 Uses for a Dead Cruise Terminal

  1. Arthur Negus says:

    Cruise Terminal one day, Mid Lrvels the next! And a book about fifty years ago.

    Why not read my two latest. But not old. Sorry.

  2. PCC says:

    The interview of Mr. Goldsmith is time well spent. Thanks for the recommendation.

  3. A Tsim says:

    Piss off “Arthur”. You’re pathetic.

  4. Knownot says:

    China Daily has released two videos of bedtime-stories for children about One Belt, One Road.
    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/05/09/business/china-propaganda-bedtime-belt-road.html?_r=0

    The nightlight shed its gentle glow
    On blanket, sheet, and pillow;
    My sweetie laid her tousled head
    On her nursery bed,
    And as she closed each shining eye
    I sang a lullaby.
    I sang of how our troubles melt
    In China’s magic Belt,
    And how the goods and goodness flowed
    On China’s magic Road:
    The steel, the glass, the fine cement,
    Amity, agreement,
    The culture and the wise effects,
    Confucius Analects.
    Even to Korea North
    The benefits go forth;
    And like Zheng He in days of yore
    To Afric’s distant shore:
    Harmony on every side,
    Chairman Xi our guide.
    I sang of – but my angel woke
    And full of scorn she spoke:
    “Is this gunk what you believe?
    Daddy, you’re naïve!
    This is utter bullshit, and a
    Load of propaganda!
    Such crap you really cannot make up!
    Daddy, bloody wake up!”

  5. Old Newcomer says:

    @J. Arthur – just because something happened 50 years ago doesn’t mean it’s no longer relevant today.

  6. LRE says:

    @Knownot
    I fear some subversive fiend in the CPC is making a subtle and tacit confession that OBOR is just a fairy tale.
    Or to misquote George Carlin: “It’s called the Chinese Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it.”

  7. DandyFAGUs says:

    Goldsmith podcast interview an excellent call… you can just imagine his boss…

    “…say Syd, we haven’t the foggiest what’s going on out there – go take a shufti will ya”

    Plus ca change …

  8. I’m honored that a “Hong Kong on the Brink” that is very much alive should appear together with a Dead Cruise Terminal. Thanks for the kind remarks.

    For DandyFAGUs: It took three dictionaries before I finally found a definition of shufti…so I’ll shufti plenty during my forthcoming trip to Hong Kong.

    Looks like I’ll have to go to a book signing at Bookazine on June 1, 6:30 p.m. Nothing like a good excuse to spend a week in Hong Kong and hike down memory lane. I’m inviting anybody who reads this. It would be great to meet you.

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